Sunday, January 4, 2009

happily ever after

I love you

Strange. We're fools to believe we will only ever have to say it to one person. Because of this it gets harder every time. Harder to trust. Harder to Kiss. Harder to love.

So whats a nineteen year old supposed to write about when all she knows is heartbreak.

Who am I kidding. I'm just lik ethe rest, obsessed with love. Not in the way that it 'lifts you up inside' but in its other form. The form that tears your insides out and leaves you feeling empty.

Take my hand so many have said, I'll show you the world. I apologise if I sound rude but i don't think you'll show me anything but memories i'll want to delete and even more pessimism than I already know.

But then she meets this boy. Tender. Soft. Childish. Manipulative. Strongheaded. Beautiful. He will be her hardest downfall yet her sweetest . Love is filled with contradiction.s All you need is love, yet love can kill you. All i can do is take his hand and pray that if i ever have to land, it will be on my feet. "Its all worth it!" Pardon me, but i don't think it is. But she'll do it anyway. THe same holding pattern, hating him, loathing herself. Routine motions of relationships. She won't leave him yet because.... I don't know, but i guess no reason to leave is a reason to stay. And 'your better off without him' was never a good enough reason for her.

The smartest women in the world often end up alone,
Of course it bugs them, but most of the time it doesn't.
All she wishes for is to find the perfect love yet she is obsessed with being happy alone.
Because mother dear always said, better off alone than badly accompanied.
In this day and age happily ever after seems to be a story that just isn't finished.